


Of All the Things I've Lost, I Miss Racoon the Most

by evening_spirit



Series: Unrelated Hawaii Five-0 short stories [1]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: sd_ldws, Crack, Dialogue-Only, Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-22
Updated: 2012-03-22
Packaged: 2017-11-02 08:55:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/367203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evening_spirit/pseuds/evening_spirit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Racoon, Danny? You're looking for a racoon?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of All the Things I've Lost, I Miss Racoon the Most

**Author's Note:**

> Genre: crack, Prompt: racoon
> 
> The title is a paraphrased quote of Mark Twain "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most"
> 
> Beta-ed by Verasteine

"Racoon, Danny? You're looking for a racoon?"

"Yes, damn it!"

"Under my sink?"

"Yes! _Under your sink_ , what does it look like? I am currently _lying_ , on my _back_ , under your _sink_. I told you I'm looking for a racoon. The logical conclusion is that, _yes_ , I'm looking for a _racoon_ under your _sink_."

"Why are you looking for a racoon under my sink, Danny? Why are you even looking for a racoon _at all_? There aren't any racoons in Hawaii, you know."

"What?"

"No racoons. In Hawaii."

"I heard you the first time! Damn it, the guy who sold it to me assured me that it was real, honest-to-God indigenous species!"

"Well, I'm sorry, Danny, but no."

"What a fraud!"

"So whatever did ... whatever ... It was most likely something else. Wait! Did you say you bought--"

"Yup, for Grace."

"You bought a racoon for _Grace_?"

"Yes, I bought a racoon for Grace! What's the big deal? She wanted some Hawaiian animal, and I thought this would be the least ... harmful."

"You're not serious."

"Ungh."

"What did it do, exactly? Let me see. Did it bite through ... Uh, Danny? Why did you dismantle my drain?"

"It must be in there somewhere."

"The racoon?"

"Yup."

"In the pipe?"

"Uh-uh."

"Danny, racoons are _this_ big. They wouldn't fit into a pipe. Danny?"

"Well, this one was _this_ small."

"Uh?"

"Uh. I think ... Wait ... _There_! Damn it, it's dead."

"You found your racoon? Wait, _this_ is your racoon?"

"It _was_ my racoon butterflyfish. Now it's a dead fish. Guess I shouldn't have kept it in the sink."

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are ♥ :)


End file.
